Ant phillips is a copywriter and performance poet aka 'Ant the Rant'.

January
January’s the month that lied
It promised hope, and then it died
January’s when God gets flu,
And then he takes it out on you

January’s the burned out car,
The fading alcoholic star
It’s a one-legged pigeon with a broken wing,
A party popper without a string
It’s when Eastenders write their scripts,
It’s when drunken clowns will slit their wrists

January’s the broken dream
A floating fish in a stagnant stream
It’s a Teddy Bear left in the skip,
A flat warm beer and a cold limp chip
It’s when Walt Disney saw his shrink
It’s when George best first turned to drink

January’s the pit of pits,
The funeral parlour’s greatest hits
It’s a fag end floating in cold tea,
It’s a derelict pier in a sewer-filled sea
It’s when happy meals will make you choke,
When noses bleed when you do coke

January’s the blackest black,
The gymnast with a broken back,
It’s Mum tattooed on a smackhead’s arm
It’s foot and mouth on an empty farm
It’s when you pawned your Mother’s ring,
It’s when Leonard Cohen learned to sing

January’s cold bacon fat,
A vibrator with the batteries flat
January’s the dead beached whale
The wedding dress in a car boot sale
January’s when rats are sick,
When dogs won’t fetch and clocks won’t tick

January’s the month that lied,
It sang, it danced
And then it cried

Ant Phillips, 2002